remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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