Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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