Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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