Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize