Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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