she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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