Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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