If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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