Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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