I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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