I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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