i think i have herpe
just one?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize