Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
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I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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