I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize