swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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