Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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