in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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