i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize