Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize