the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
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Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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