I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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