3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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