Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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