the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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