I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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