i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize