I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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