I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize