You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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