next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize