Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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