i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
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I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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