If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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