I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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