ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
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I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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