jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize