Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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