You don't have asthma, your pregnant
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize