pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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