in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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