Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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