She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize