Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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