Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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