Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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