just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize