And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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