i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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