my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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