I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
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If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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