it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize